27 weeks

Dear tiny dancers,

when I first heard about you, when you entered my life, my thoughts and heart I would picture myself pregnant. Daily I would check my body in the mirror to see if I could already make out some tiny difference. Soon after, I started taking pictures of myself, all to capture the tiniest bump which at the time could have well resulted from too many trays of guan tan bao. When I took the bus to see my friends and your dad for the weekend every friday after work I would look out of the dirty bus window. With my mp3 on full blast and fully charged my thoughts and troubled mind would drift away until the second I would spot a pregnant girl or women. Immediately I was fully awake again, mesmerized by the visual signs of pregnancy.  Pregnant bodies are beautiful. They are miracles, proofs of life and health and love.

Ever since I found out I was pregnant I was eagerly waiting for my body to change, my belly to grow, your existence to show. With my body changing and growing with every week I have by far already reached that point now but lately I feel we are reaching a new level here. Me and you are turning into head turners over here. People stare, children stop, turn around with eyes wide open. There is no doubt about it: We are getting big.  Last weekend me and my friend Sarah went to the movies and after to a local bar to catch up on life and love and men and boys and you of course when the stares became pretty obvious to us. People blatantly stare and seem shocked at times.I started to wonder why. What do these people think in that very second when they spot me -  pregnant girl with her big belly and friend out on the town on a saturday night at 10 pm?! Do they think I am that big and are afraid I could give birth any minute, right in front of them? Do they think I should be at home instead of heading to a bar on a saturday evening at 10pm? Do they pity me cause I am walking around with my friend instead of a man holding my hand? Or are they just tragic and have nothing better to look at? In that case I almost feel proud. I mean if me and my massive belly are the best this town has to over?! Not bad, Alex, not bad. But then again pretty pretty tragic. People can never mind their own business. It is what it is.

These thoughts followed me all the way home and stayed with me even the day after but then I gave up. I had a wonderful evening. I am glad I am still able to wobble around, having a laugh with my friend Sarah, watching a fantastic german movie while eating lot of sweets.

Other than that I got to see you last week for another detailed ultrasound. You look good, you have both grown and although you, madame, are still a bit small I am happy when the doctor told me that you have grown in height and weight. It is what matters right now. We still don´t know why you are small but as long as you keep growing everyone is happy. I love you.

Boy &

baby girl <3

Next weekend we are going on a final weekend trip. Me and one of your aunts and your grandparents. My parents have invited me and my youngest sister to come along. Although currently on vacation she is busy with all her uni assignments and part time work so can do with a break. Me?! Well I am busy trying to find comfortable positions to sleep and sit, the engergy to work a few hours every week, to make new friends and be happy in this place soooooooo we can all do with a break. I hope we have a good time. When we get back it we will start moving rooms. The painters have left the building so we can, once the new furniture for my parents bedroom arrives, start moving rooms. I am excited and very happy to finally put my ideas into action. I do hope your room turns out as wonderful as the picture I carry with me in my head.

27 weeks of you and me. Every week you challenge me and take me on a new adventure - an entire different road in life.  Keep dancing down there. I love you both.

27 weeks