When I first heard about you, you were nothing but two lines on a stick. In a local chinese hospital you appeared as two dots on a piece of paper. With time you grew into bigger dots until you became part of my days, my thoughts, my wishes, hopes - finally my heart. When I heard your heartbeat for the first time I feel in love. Lying on that dirty hospital bed I knew deciding against an abortion despite all the chaos surrounding me was the best I did. I started daydreaming about your faces and how you might look like, the talents you would have and how you would see the world. I started looking at names, and talking about you. More and more you became apparent. I knew I wanted to show you the world, yet protect you the best I can. I started collecting stuff for your room, creating a picture in my head of how it should look like. No longer are my shopping bags filled with the usual shoes or bags for myself but tiny outfits for you.
This week you are the size of a heirloom tomatoe. Everybody keeps asking me if I feel your movements yet but I don´t. Still, I know you are moving and kicking and I know that all the tiredness and exhaustion, the uncomfortableness and a steadily higher number on the scale are worth it because already you are the loves of my life.
 |
| April - July |
No comments:
Post a Comment