32 weeks

32 weeks. Still in hospital. Still be ridden with dinners at the crazy early hour of 5 pm and daily cardiotocograms but we are safe. Safe for now and the last couple of days. Contractions monitored by the cardiotogram have slowed down to one per 20 minutes which is ok. Currently antibiotics are still running through an IV, entering my system several times a day, daily needles injected to drain blood are slowly making my arms look like I have suceessfully been on drugs for months but today I was told that from tomorrow the antibiotics will leave the room and with that all bigger treatments are stopped. Success. Nurses, doctors and midvives have become familiar faces - the red button next to my bed my very favourite personal assistant  to the outside world of coffee, water and more. 

Although you might feel I have an all inclusive deal here, it takes patience and endurance to lie down day after day. Days evolve around napping, eating, TV, books, laptop and forms of live entertainment which can be quite anything - from women who go into labour and turn up in super good shape with their newborn a couple of hours later to lovely friends who come and turn the hospital bathroom into a photo booth. 

Since my old roommates got transferred the room has turned into an interstation for pregnant women. They get off the train, arrive with small bags, just to hop onto the next one home a day or two later. So far only one girl has stayed here until now, the third bed in the room has already seen 3 patients come and go. They are women who get admitted with "small" pregnancy problems which are, after being monitored for a day or two, then sent home. Although I am happy for them and most of them have been pleasant I am now hoping for that bed to stay empty until I leave the hospital myself. Although it might be entertaining at times it gets exhausting having to adjust to a new roomie every second day. Especially the last girl turned out to be a whiner who continued to complain about being here and who did not seem to be able to do anything without her of course he had to be lovely husband. At times I was on the edge of screaming: "You complain about about being here for 2 days? Well, take this: I have been here almost two weeks already. Bed ridden. While YOU are still able to walk around, get your own coffee AND shower without having to sit on a chair like an old lady. PLUS you are two people and a husband. I am currently three. Without a husband. Do I win?! I don´t think so, my love." She pushed my patience to the edge but then she was told she could leave the hospital, I threw an unemotional: "Nice" in her direction and with that the whining was over. Thank God.

As it is with hospitals most of the time, and in my case, doctors monitor my process and can not really give me an answer as to whether I will be able to go home before I give birth. I am aware that in a day - two days- a weeks time everything could change again, leading to a new era of IV´s and tycolisis. Secretly I am also hoping to be able to stay here, knowing that my mothers nerves are still too fragile to cope with a very pregnant me coming home. I know that a big reason as to why I am better is also that I have stayed in bed only commuting to the bathroom. The bad side of being in bed all time: it slows your bloodstream down. On sunday I wanted to shower but the nurses could not find the chair I need to sit on. Deciding that I wanted my hair to look nice and therefore against the advice to shower a day later when the chair was most likely to be found I was completely knackered. The whole day. It was shocking. Quickly jumping into the shower?! No such thing here, people.

So here we are. Twins are doing fine, happily kicking against my abdominal wall. The next ultrasound is sheduled for tomorrow. Stay tuned and keep enjoying your personal mobility of being able to jump into the shower, going outside to grab a coffee or magazine. I am miles away from doing such things and ready for another round of pregnancy nap now. "Every day counts", as they like to say here. I am counting the days, weeks, ???, until a whale size body will hopefully shrink, swollen legs will turn back into normal size, faces, and feet and arms will no longer appear on screens but in front of me. Until then: Tata!

32 weeks of belly and me.