NORMALLY this post would have been written on a day - most likely a morning - while my mother would be at work. I would have had the house to myself, sitting in front of my laptop, coffee in one hand, a good youtube cover blasting in the background. I would have written about 31 weeks of pregnancy, my fears, doubts and dreams.
It is still morning. There is indeed coffee on the table in front of me. But NORMALLY has become a very vague term since last thursday when I felt sleepy and exhausted - which is not very unusual if you are carrying around almost 40 20kg of fetus - , went to bed with a book and was found unconcious by my mother minutes - seconds - ??? - later.
What had happpened? Up to this point I can only remember pieces, moments, seconds. It was my day off but I had already done my lesson plan for the next day, I had written a post on 30 weeks, I had looked up the opening hours for the local swimming pool as I wanted to waddle my way down there later. After lunch I felt tired, I laid down, I started to read, then felt increasingly tired. I still remember that I started to cough and felt like I could not stop until breathing got harder....The next thing I heard was my mother yelling and screaming in front of me. Funny enough my very first thought was that something had happened to HER and she needed help. When I woke up my pants were wet. Our hero neighbour - the only number my mother could remember at the time - was already there, ready to call the ambulance, ready to help. My mother told me that I was gone for minutes, that my lips had already turned blue. Then, all I remember is pain. Incredible pain. The statement to multiply your period pain by a hundred is true. THAT`S what contractions are like and yes, they are a killer. The ambulance arrived and took me away- With the sirene blasting all over all I could think of was: "I am not prepared. They are not ready. I am not ready. Their room is not even ready yet. It is too early. It is too early." Then again pain.
Although being 15km away we reached the hospital in what seemed like a matter of seconds. Minutes later I was surrounded by doctors and nurses, midvives and a panicking mother. Somehow I remained calm. I know now that I was still in shock, not being able to grasp what had happened. My godmother arrived. Again, one of the only contacts my mother could remember. I was being monitored and examined. I had heavy contractions but my uterine orifice was ok. An IV of tocolysis was able to control my contractions and hours later I was transferred from the labour ward onto the maternity ward. Around me there was talk about my blood group being available, people were puzzled as to why I had collapsed, more blood was drained, I got handed a document on c sections but at 9pm we knew I was ok and not ready to be a mum yet.
One crazy roommate and two very nice ones - who were unfortunately transferred to a new room yesterday - two nights of heavy contractions first unable to control due to a "lovely" range of side effects caused by the first tocolysis later I am now still here - writing a post while waiting to be taken to see a professor who will do an ultrasound. With currently no contractions on the horizon I feel pretty happy although I have gotten to know things can change in a matter of hours in here.
Being bed ridden, days evolve around IV´s, ultrasounds, being wheel chaired to the labour ward in order to get my daily dosis of cardiotocogram, doctors and midvives and the hottest topic of all: CONTRACTIONS!
The twins are currently 31 weeks and 2 days old. If I had to have a c section now they would most likely be ok and survive but in terms of fetal development it is still too early for them. I do believe the hospital here would be well prepared for the case but they would most likely still need support and the risk of handicaps due to being born prematurely is too high. "Every day counts", as they like to say here.
31 plus 2. Since I got admitted to hospital pregnancy has become vunerable and something unpredictable. You read about twin pregnancies being risky, while at the same time you are surrounded by stories where it all went ok. You stay in there, tiny dancers. Your mum is a fighter and is getting ready for you to arrive but do me the favour and stay in there a bit longer.
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| 31 weeks of belly on the maternity ward |
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