35 weeks

Every week I write how exhausting being pregnant has become, how much on the edge I feel most of the time, how I truly think we won´t go on for much longer. (Much longer meaning another week by the way.) I write about it cause in this very moment this is how I feel. So far so good. But THEN - a week later - I am back here, in front of the screen sitting on my hospital bed writing another post with a massive belly and two tiny dancers happily kicking inside me. Let me check...Yeah - definitely still pregnant. 

Although I feel like a massive pregnant liar I am not even exaggerating when I say I feel we can´t - won´t - go on much longer cause this is exactly how I feel the very second I write about it: pregnant, massive, tired, exhausted with pain in parts of my body you don´t even want to know about. In these moments I do truly feel like we have reached the end of it, that all skin has been stretched to the max by now and that I will fall over if I continue to carry these twins around - but no, no, no: another week and we are still here. Of course: The longer - the better but sometimes it is a fine line between being happy about it and wanting this to end.

Having said that I do have to admit that since I saw one of my hundred my old roommate having a c section in her 28th week of pregnancy and looking at pictures of a 1kg fetus plugged to a hell lot of machines I am telling myself that we need to hold out as long as we can. If it happens now, it can happen but lord do I want to avoid any time on the intensive care unit. Keep your fingers crossed, folks.

Due to little contractions and doing pretty well for weeks now there was talk about me leaving this place before I give birth but last thursday doctors decided against it after all. My cervix has shortened again and with that all talk about leave, home cooked food and other homey comforts went out of the window. Au revoir. Of course I was gutted for the rest of the day especially as my doctor also told me that giving birth without the big C involved also looks like a no, no due to the twins differencing in weight but what can you do?!

C section it is then. Oh well. At least the longer I am here the easier I find it to deal with all the madness surrounding me. C section?! Bring it on. Another annoying roomate includng her crazy family?! Nothing I have not seen before. (Do I have to mention that I have been and keep being EXTREMLY unlucky with my roommates?! From China doll to spoiled brat - I have seen them all. In the bed next to me. If this was an accurate picture of our society - Jeez I don´t even want to think about it. I mean, we already have to deal with men wearing white socks in sandals!) Heavy contractions which end up with a very quick transfer to the labour ward. Nah, nothing to worry about. We are faaarrrr from giving birth. Sometimes you just gotta laugh at things and take it easy. I mean what else can you do?!

So HELLO! It is another day in the medical madhouse hospital. Still pregnant, still fat, and between contractions, ultrascans, admiring Gary Barlow on the X factor and more trashy TV we are doing fine, making friends and enemies and holding it together.

35 weeks. Done.