On April, 16th I peed on a stick and seconds later my life was turned upside down. I had dreamt about it for an entire week, with two blue lines it became official: Pregnant.
On May, 20th I copied the above quote written by the fabulous James Frey into my diary. A month from the second I had peed on that stick everything had yet changed again. Not even the end of May and I already knew that I could not stay where I was at the time, that I needed to go back to Germany if I wanted to keep the twins. Sometimes things break beyond repair. Things broken into a million pieces certainly belong to that category.
So here we are. And although it has been a hell of a few months, weeks, days, minutes we have done pretty well because we have reached (tataaa) the big 34! 34 weeks is what I needed to reach in order for the twins to be safe in terms of fetal development. 34 weeks is the point when all treatments (with twins) stop. No more IV´s, no more medicine to stop early contractions. Whatever happens now - I can actually let it happen. And although I paid a visit to the intensive care unit last saturday and found the thought of the babies to be surrounded by huge machines and monitors very depressing (sadly this is were the twins will most likely go for a few days if they are born before 36 weeks): Tiny dancers, whenever you are ready: I am.
(And until then I try and remain calm and postive between bad lunches, roomates who turn into a bigger emotional mess by the day, and an ever growing belly - slowely making its way low low low.)
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